Raymond Carver They Re Not Your Husband

Paul Newman once said, “People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked” (74). There is no such thing as the perfect relationship, however, being involved in a healthy relationship is essential for a person to feel valued, safe, and happy. Unfortunately, in the situation of Kelly Sundberg’s personal essay “It Will Look Like a Sunset,” and Kate Chopin’s short story “The Story of An Hour,” include extreme examples of unhealthy relationships. The essay “It Will Look Like a Sunset,” shares painful experiences of Sundberg’s physical and emotional abusive relationship with her husband Caleb, while “The Story of an Hour,” shares a rare reaction of a married woman, Louise Mallard, who explores her emotions cautiously when hearing about the death of her husband. Each woman faces their own prison created by their husbands. The two marriages represent the figurative meaning of doors being locked in a marriage. Both pieces of literature convey the theme of confinement by using the literary devices of foreshadowing, imagery, and conflict.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love is a collection of short stories by Raymond Carver. Named “One of the true contemporary masters,” by Robert Towers of The New York Times Review of Books, Carver creates fiction that opens the reader’s eyes to a seldom spoken of, but all too real, part of American life. Alcoholism, and its ability to destroy families and escalate domestic disputes into violence, was a common theme throughout Carver’s short stories. Though there are many equally powerful themes in all of the stories, alcoholism is the driving force behind most of the misfortune in “Gazebo” and “A Serious Talk.”

“Why Did I Get Married?” directed and produced by Tyler Perry is a movie based on four couples who take a reunion vacation to the Colorado Mountains in order to reunite with friends from college. On this vacation things didn’t go according to plan. Throughout the movie there was heartbreak, infidelity, suppressed feelings, conflict, and secrets raging throughout each of the couples’ relationship in some aspect. With these unfortunate events occurred at various times throughout the film it cause their trip to evolve from a place to relax, enjoy friends, and time off from work into an emotional and tense atmosphere with the involved couple seeking validation from the other couples on the reason why their marriages are the way they are. Even though the movie ended on a good note in their celebration of Janet Jackson’s character (Pat) receiving an award one of the marriages did not survive. This couple’s relationship will be my focus for this paper.

When most people get married, they go into the marriage with the expectations and hopes that everything will go as planned, that they will always get along, and that the responsibilities will be evenly divided between both spouses. And for two working spouses who have children, they share the expectation that no one parent will be more of a caretaker than the other. Eric Bartels, a feature writer for the Portland Tribune in Portland, Oregon, feels as if he has personal experience as to what it is like to be on the receiving end of his wife’s irrational—or at least in his eyes—anger. Bartels informs his readers of the anger his wife projects

Throughout this article Brady uses ethos, logos, and pathos to illustrate her opinion that the wife does too much in a family. Brady connects with her audience by relating to what was expected of them back in the 1970’s. She states reasons to why she wants a wife and lists what she says a wife would do for her. Lastly, Brady connects emotionally to her audience by

Women are taught from a young age that marriage is the end all be all in happiness, in the short story “The Story of An Hour” by Kate Chopin and the drama “Poof!” by Lynn Nottage, we learn that it is not always the case. Mrs. Mallard from “The Story of an Hour” and Loureen from “Poof!” are different characteristically, story-wise, and time-wise, but share a similar plight. Two women tied down to men whom they no longer love and a life they no longer feel is theirs. Unlike widows in happy marriages Loureen and Mrs., Mallard discover newfound freedom in their respective husband’s deaths. Both stories explore stereotypical housewives who serve their husbands with un-stereotypical reactions to their husband’s deaths.

Television psychologists and pop culture self-help gurus tell us that marriage is hard work; marriage is compromise; marriage is a choice between being right, and being happy. All of these statements are true. What these experts don’t tell us, however, is that marriage is also about putting on blinders, or looking on the bright side, or one of a hundred other trite phrases to explain the art of self-deception. In marriage, there are times when we may find it necessary to look the other way from our spouse’s faults or indiscretions, in the interest of self-preservation. For if we examine these problems too closely, our darkest, most secret fears may come true. Therefore, it can seem easier to focus on the positive. In her poem “Surprise,” Jane Kenyon uses denial, selective perception, and fear of betrayal to illustrate the self-deception that can occur in marriage.

Marriage is one of the most revered institutions in most societies. Often a momentous event, most couples who choose to get married look forward to their wedding day and spending the rest of their lives together. However, the honeymoon phase of marriage may have the tendency to fade over time, and relationships that were once strong and loving may become strained. In the short story Birthday Party by Katharine Brush, a particular instance of such a weakened relationship is highlighted as the observer in the story witnesses a married man and woman celebrating a birthday in a restaurant. Through the use of vivid description and powerful word choice, Brush effectively comments on the concept of marriage and relationships and emphasizes their romantic impermanence and sometimes inevitable deterioration.

At first, John from “The Yellow Wallpaper” and Leroy Moffitt from “Shiloh” seem completely different from each other. John is a physician who only believes in what he can physically see, while Leroy is a man lost in his own life, looking for a purpose. John’s wife is very dependent on him, whereas Leroy’s wife Norma Jean has her own life. However, the two seem more alike than first appears. If we compare John and Leroy, we can see both stories demonstrate how husbands can drive their wives away by being too restrictive of them.

Most women in America nowadays are lucky enough to consider themselves to be an independent individual, but females were not always guaranteed their freedoms. Throughout the early 1900’s, authors would characterize husbands to be controlling figures. In “The Yellow Wallpaper,” Charlotte Perkins demonstrates just how possessive the husband is to his wife in their marriage. This short story shows just how miserable the woman is to be in a marriage with John because John, thinks it would be best that his wife is isolated to get over her postpartum depression.“The Yellow Wallpaper” demonstrates how a male dominated society leads to the woman not being their own individual by using characterization, narrator perspective, and conflict between women and society.

Alterations: Comparing the Changes Caused by Marriage of the two Bessie Head Short Stories, “Life” and “Snapshots of a Wedding”

Short stories have fully developed themes but appear significantly shorter and less elaborate than novels. A similar theme found in short stories “Winter Dreams” written by Scott F. Fitzgerald and “A Rose for Emily” by William Faulkner included the social and environmental influences that encouraged and controlled the character’s life and decisions. In “Winter Dreams”, the main protagonist-- Dexter-- fell into a fixation over a young, whimsical blueblood, Judy Jones. His obsession led him to believe that Judy Jones reciprocated his feelings for her, leaving him bare and mortal-- despite prior beliefs. Following her father’s death, Miss Emily fell into a dark obscurity due to the pressure and compulsion of having to carry on the honorable family name. While using a unique point of view (first person peripheral), “A Rose for Emily” followed a mysterious and desirable woman named Miss Emily as her hometown tried to understand her peculiar ways and began to find her disgraceful. By comparing and contrasting these two literary pieces, a similar organization-- including the writers’ purpose and themes-- should become clear. By using literary devices-- such as point of view, dramatic irony, detail, and figurative language-- Scott F. Fitzgerald and William Faulkner conducted two short stories similar in aim and reasoning, probable for contrasting and comparing elements within the parallel writings.

Communication is undoubtedly an essential component of a healthy relationship. In every good relationship, partners are able to communicate with each other to discuss problems and issues that may be affecting the relationship. In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1925 novel The Great Gatsby, many different relationships are examined and the complexities of human connections are observed. The novel is set in the 1920s, a few years after the end of World War 1. It was a time when having fun was most people’s main priority, and partying and drinking was an essential part of everyday life. Because of the devastating effects of the war, many people adopted the ‘live life to the fullest” mentality. Because of this mentality, sexual promiscuity was a very prominent part of everyday life and married people were often unfaithful to their spouse. Communication was not generally prioritized in most relationships and resulted in unhealthy or even abusive relationships. Therefore, each couple’s problems are a result of the lack of communication displayed in each relationship.

Modern literature is known for questioning society and its various conventions. One question that these works often ask is, “What is real?” Some modern authors explore this question by placing their characters within self-constructed illusions that are later shattered by the introduction of reality. Marriages are frequently at the center of this theme, with one spouse crafting an illusory impression of the other. Modern literature demonstrates that a marriage built upon illusion will falter when exposed to reality.

Carson McCuller’s story “A Domestic Dilemma” depicts a family torn by both compassion and suffering. Martin, a loving and understanding husband must deal with his family’s problems. Martin’s wife, Emily, distraught by her new environment, initiates her family’s difficulties with her drinking habits. The story examines a family’s severe problems, and yet also illustrates the depth of love and loyalty that allows people to survive adversity. McCullers examines within the depth of one family how the full spectrum of love can destroy the romantics of love.