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Personal Narrative: A Change

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When I cry it feels like:
- my chest is going to collapse.. maybe more emotionally than physically but it all feels as if the pain is real and can always be felt.
-my throat is going to burst
-a throbbing pain in my head
-my eyes seem like a dysfunctional water faucet that can't handle the water pressure and spontaneously breaks down
-a never ending cycle, like I'm going round and nothings changed. All situations end the same way. I'm trapped in my own body. I'm not "allowed" to be myself. To feel a way that I cannot help. - To love someone that I love unconditionally. Because we're of the same sex... and the popular story of Adam and Eve- "god made man for woman and woman for man." Maybe it's time for a change, a change that will …show more content…

People change over time. Change is inevitable. You can't change the inevitable or stop it from happening. No one had control over it.. we all personally have control over our perspective- the way we see things- not being open minded. how we will react and go about the situation, problem or whatever it is. Every time I lost someone, or their trust, times when promises were broken, went through a breakup, etc. A part of me was taken with them. I guess that's why it seems there's always something inside that's hurting. Like missing puzzle pieces. Holes and spaces that I can't seem to find anything that's right to fill them.
When i did feel complete, I was also still in the dark. And technically "in the closet". Even though most people didn't know i had a girlfriend I was completely in love with, I was so happy and it seemed like none of the other stuff mattered. Ignorance is bliss...i most definitely want back my ignorance and bliss. Never would I have thought that I would have found My soul mate, the girl who completes me, the girl I am meant to be with while I'm 15. But I know how I feel. There's no stopping or getting rid of feelings, i mean that's way beyond my control. And maybe, just maybe I don't wanna stop the feelings or change them or get rid of them. I love the tingly excited feeling I get in my tummy when I see her. I love how whenever I see her, I can't help but smile. She …show more content…

I yearn to just be myself. And not be restricted as to how I feel pr have to hide parts of me. I'm a 15 year old sophomore. In about 3 years, Ill be leaving home. Moving away to be on my own and makes my the choices and decisions my by self. And I think that who I chose to date is something I should be able to decide myself. I don't think I need someone to make that choice for me. No one else knows how I feel. Therefore, why can anyone tell me how I shouldn't feel?. just because they don't approve or believe in it. All I want is to be happy, and feel complete. With her I do. She me a better me. I thought I deserved to be happy. But I guess not.there's no getting out of it now, I'm way more than knee deep in it. Even through all the sadness and tears, I still feel my obligation as a best friend. I'm so loyal and committed that even if I wanted to, I can't leave her hanging. When she can't sleep at 3AM and she needs to talk, I'm there for her. I love those calls. I'll always have her back. Even though I still hurt inside, I love my best friend to death. And the last 7 should have proven to her and to anyone else that I'd do anything for

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