Joy Luck Club Essay

“i am a linguist” says Tannen and briefly explains what that means and how it better helps her explore the topic. She lets it be known that in fact she is someone's daughter but does not have one of her own. But because she is well past her adolescent years makes her just as credible if she were to have one. At first it may appear that this piece was written for women and girls who presumably have wondered why their relationship with their mothers or daughters were so complex. On the contrary it grabs the attention of both genders. All though not directly targeted to men and boys it could give them a better insight to the women relationship in their lives. Tannen says “... there is a special intensity to the mother-daughter relationship because talk,particularly talk about personal topics -- plays a larger more complex role in girls’ and women's social lives than in boys and men.” this does not dismiss the male , and Tannen does an acceptable job at engaging both

daughter can have wants and needs in the relationship. These things can only be understood if the two communicate to each other. In most situations all the complications and heartaches are worth it be the sweet rewards in-between.

I spent the majority of my life being raised by a single mother due to my parents’ divorce. Because of my parents’ divorce, my mother stated firmly that I had changed and became a difficult child. I remember rebelling, suffering with low self-esteem and self-worth and blaming myself for the absence of my father. It was not until I was well into womanhood that I found peace within myself, as well as with my nonresidential father. Through the preparation for this study, I have a better understanding of the external and internal factors that can and will affect the father-daughter relationship.

All mother daughter relationships can be quite challenging at times. Especially when the daughter is forced to do the unwanted. In Amy Chua’s memoir The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, and Amy Tan’s novel The Joy Luck Club, exemplify the obstacles that come along with the roles of a mother daughter relationship. Although these excerpts address the same situation their tones are opposing. Chua’s tone of memories with her daughter show annoyance but still caring, while Tan’s tone examples menacing and hostile.

This perfection can be masked by our need to conform to social norms of gender roles within our culture. It also teaches the importance of the relationship between a mother and a daughter and how that relationship really helps us characterise our morals. Mama and Birdee shared many moments of connection, moments that Birdee had been searching for her entire life. Mama validates her love for Birdee by saying “Mothers love their daughters, even if they show it poorly” (Whitaker et al., 1998). Mama does not always express her feelings in a traditional sense, but utilizes teaching moments to let Birdee know how she really feels.

Aldrich and Isomaki begin their article by formally declaring that they are taking a psychological stance on the matter: “We provide a loosely psychoanalytic frame of study for our students, focusing on the mother-daughter relation and the

I sobbed. “I’ll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be!” (Tan, pg 246). She felt if she had followed her mother’s goal, she will ultimately betray herself. Therefore, she would rather be true to herself than to follow the goals of others.

The daughter always felt pressured to do what she wasn’t able to do just because that’s what her mother wanted her to be. She had this specific image of her daughter and wanted to transform her into someone she wasn’t forming her daughters identity without letting her create her own persona. This caused the daughter to become unconfident with herself. She became shameful of herself and her own actions as well as her inabilities. The daughter never really stood up for herself and her beliefs until she participated in a showcase playing the piano which was also her mothers choice. At the showcase she failed really badly and disappointed everyone. Her mother had left with no words, she was very upset. When the end of the story was approaching her mother had passed away. That was an eye opener for the daughter because then she realized how much potential she had. The daughter acknowledged that all her mother wanted was the best for her. Perhaps the mother saw this potential in her daughter that the daughter wasn’t able to see in

Mothers tend to mold their daughters according to their worldview. Mother-daughter relationships are inevitably related with emotion as well as psychic interchanges between each other. The way a mother treats her daughter definitely has a role with her daughter’s psychology and identity development. Sometimes when little girls grow into young adults, the loving mother-daughter relationship turns into a brutal one.

The bond between a parent and child is unlike any other; however, the relationship between the daughter and her mother and between the daughter and her father can differ greatly, but usually contain the same key points. There are certain circumstances in which a daughter will go to her mom in preference to her father for particular advice, permissions, or compensation, and to her father over her mother for other reasons. For example, the parents’ punishments, advice, rules, and willingness to grant permissions and favors may vary, prompting the child to go to different parents to accomplish different goals. Her mother’s past experiences and ability to recall those memories give her a greater understanding of the way her daughter might

With the time rapidly changing more and more young females are wanting to make their own decisions. As you continue to read the daughter interrupts the mother a few times to try and prove to her that she is not what she says she is. The mother refers to her as becoming a “slut” ( ) if she continues to do thing such as squatting while playing marbles, and singing Antiguan songs in Sunday school . By the daughter not having much say about those certain activities, this shows that the mother is very dominate in her approach to have her become the lady she is supposed to become. As a young woman trying to figure out her position or role in life she is given so many life lessons through her mother.

There is no doubt that a mother’s relationship with their daughter is important. Sometimes though the relationship can be strained due to the mother. A mother can do many different things to strain the relationship. Chinese writers Amy Tan and Amy Chua both write about mother daughter relationships with contrasting tones in their excerpts “The Violin” (Amy Chua) and “Jing Mei Woo: Two Kinds” (Amy Tan). Amy Chua’s tone in “The Violin” is a lot more gentle and effective than Amy Tan’s tone in “Jing Mei Woo: Two Kinds”.

The mother always wanted something and made a point to get it. The mother used to try and do a lot of fun things with the girl like go places or buy her things because she was trying to create a good image of herself for the daughter. It was her way of making sure the daughter still saw her mother in a positive light and not as the mother who left her. At first, the girl believed her mother wanted to see her and maybe a part of the mom really did, but she soon figured out what her mom was doing without her knowing. The mother would also get her boyfriends involved so they’d get to like the daughter.

Among them, there is a commonly found distinct connection. Additionally, people in today’s society are looking to achieve a great father-daughter relationship. In the article “Daughters Need Fathers, Too” by Marie Hartwell-Walker, the author explains the effect that relationships between fathers and their daughters have, especially good ones. The article says, “At each stage of her development, she is watching and learning from the women--and men--around her to figure out how to be successful as a woman…” Fathers have an incredible impression on daughters, as they give them expectations and standards for other men.

Throughout The Joy Luck Club Amy Tan inserts various conflicts betweens mothers and daughters. Most of these relationships, already very fragile, become distanced through heritage, history and expectations. These differences cause reoccurring clashes between two specific mother-daughter bonds. The first relationship exists between Waverly Jong and her mother, Lindo. Lindo tries to instill Chinese qualities in her daughter while Waverly refuses to recognize her heritage and concentrates on American culture. The second bond is that of Jing-Mei Woo and her mother, Suyuan. In the beginning of the book Jing-Mei speaks of confusion in her recently deceased mother's actions. The language and cultural barrier presented between Jing-Mei and Suyuan