Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751–1816). The School for Scandal.
The Harvard Classics. 1909–14. |
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| Act Third |
| | | Scene II |
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A Room in CHARLES SURFACE’S House | 1 |
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Enter TRIP, MOSES, and SIR OLIVER SURFACE | 2 |
| Trip. Here, Master Moses! if you’ll stay a moment I’ll try whether—what’s the gentleman’s name? | 3 |
| Sir Oliv. Mr. Moses, what is my name? [Aside to MOSES. | 4 |
| Mos. Mr. Premium. | 5 |
| Trip. Premium—very well. [Exit taking snuff. | 6 |
| Sir Oliv. To judge by the servants, one wouldn’t believe the master was ruined. But what!—sure, this was my brother’s house? | 7 |
| Mos. Yes, sir; Mr. Charles bought it of Mr. Joseph, with the furniture, pictures, &c., just as the old gentleman left it. Sir Peter thought it a piece of extravagance in him. | 8 |
| Sir Oliv. In my mind, the other’s economy in selling it to him was more reprehensible by half. | 9 |
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Re-enter TRIP | 10 |
| Trip. My master says you must wait, gentlemen: he has company, and can’t speak with you yet. | 11 |
| Sir Oliv. If he knew who it was wanted to see him, perhaps he would not send such a message. | 12 |
| Trip. Yes, yes, sir; he knows you are here—I did not forget little Premium: no, no, no. | 13 |
| Sir Oliv. Very well; and I pray, sir, what may be your name? | 14 |
| Trip. Trip, sir; my name is Trip, at your service. | 15 |
| Sir Oliv. Well, then, Mr. Trip, you have a pleasant sort of place here, I guess? | 16 |
| Trip. Why, yes—here are three or four of us pass our time agreeably enough; but then our wages are sometimes a little in arrear—and not very great either—but fifty pounds a year, and find our own bags and bouquets. | 17 |
| Sir Oliv. Bags and bouquets! halters and bastinadoes! [Aside. | 18 |
| Trip. And à propos, Moses, have you been able to get me that little bill discounted? | 19 |
| Sir Oliv. Wants to raise money too!—mercy on me! Has his distresses too, I warrant, like a lord, and affects creditors and duns. [Aside. | 20 |
| Mos. ’Twas not to be done, indeed, Mr. Trip. | 21 |
| Trip. Good luck, you surprise me! My friend Brush has indorsed it, and I thought when he put his name at the back of a bill ’twas the same as cash. | 22 |
| Mos. No, ’twouldn’t do. | 23 |
| Trip. A small sum—but twenty pounds. Hark’ee, Moses, do you think you couldn’t get it me by way of annuity? | 24 |
| Sir Oliv. An annuity! ha! ha! a footman raise money by way of annuity. Well done, luxury, egad! [Aside. | 25 |
| Mos. Well, but you must insure your place. | 26 |
| Trip. Oh, with all my heart! I’ll insure my place, and my life too, if you please. | 27 |
| Sir Oliv. It’s more than I would your neck. [Aside. | 28 |
| Mos. But is there nothing you could deposit? | 29 |
| Trip. Why, nothing capital of my master’s wardrobe has dropped lately; but I could give you a mortgage on some of his winter clothes, with equity of redemption before November—or you shall have the reversion of the French velvet, or a post-obit on the blue and silver;—these, I should think, Moses, with a few pair of point ruffles, as a collateral security—hey, my little fellow? | 30 |
| Mos. Well, well. [Bell rings. | 31 |
| Trip. Egad, I heard the bell. I believe, gentlemen, I can now introduce you. Don’t forget the annuity, little Moses! This way, gentlemen, I’ll insure my place, you know. | 32 |
| Sir Oliv. [Aside.] If the man be a shadow of the master, this is the temple of dissipation indeed! [Exeunt. | 33 |
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